Oh Great. Outdoors.

You are not going to believe this, you guys. I went on a hike last weekend. Somehow I managed to become friends with a bunch of outdoorsy guys this year. I must have an especially sparkling personality or something because I’ve been fairly vocal about my dislike for the outdoors and hiking in general with them but they still seem to want to hang out with me.

When I originally signed up for this trip I was told it would involve an “easy 1km hike” down to some natural hot springs. ”Ok, I can handle that.” I thought to myself. And then I looked it up on a hiking website and realized that this 1km trail was actually rated difficult because it is so steep. I’m not sure if they just didn’t look at the difficulty (highly likely) or thought since it was only 1km it wouldn’t be that bad (possible) or if they thought I was kidding about how much I hate hiking and that I’d be able to handle it (hope not). Anyway, I was more than a little stressed but I was committed at this point, and besides, I really do love camping. See?

I had to borrow running shoes from a friend because I don’t actually own any. I asked if I could hike in my chucks and people laughed at me. So I took that as a no. This should give you an indication of how out of shape inept I am when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Normally when I am nervous about something I work it up to be a huge deal in my head. It’s one of my sunnier personality traits. Usually I find that by the time I actually go through with whatever it is I’m stressing about, it ends up being not as bad as I thought. This was not one of those times. It was 1km straight down a cliff and then straight back up. It was so steep in one spot that the dog had to be carried. There were ropes involved and I fell twice (which was more embarrassing than actually painful, but still). On the way back up, we were swarmed with black flies the entire way. One flew in my mouth and I nearly choked to death. I also managed to rip one of the toenails on my big toe in half. It was way worse than that time Douze tricked me into going on a hike with her. And I have now totally forgiven her for that traumatic experience.

To their immense credit, the guys took great care of us. They were patient about going slow, helped find the easiest places to put your feet, and gave me a hand to grab onto when I needed it. They even lied and said no when I asked if I had slowed them down. And ok, the hot springs were really beautiful. And I made it out alive. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually doing it. I didn’t whine or complain (too much I don’t think) or even cry when I ripped my toenail off. Although I am so sad though, you guys. I can’t paint my toenails until it grows back. Sadface.

Camping was the absolute best and I would do that part again in a heartbeat. One important life skill that I learned in Africa was how to properly pee in the woods and it served me well on this trip. Jenn and I had to borrow everything. We showed up with our toothbrushes and clothes and that was it. The guys fed us (in spectacular fashion) and gave us tents and sleeping bags which we set up ourselves thank you very much. We found this amazing spot just off one of the logging roads up past Pemberton. It was overlooking this rushing river and we got to wake up to this amazing view.

Everyone kept making references to “next time” which was a little disconcerting. Two days later and I am still so sore I cannot walk down the stairs properly. It’s a big problem in my current office because my desk is on the second floor and the bathroom is on the first floor. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so painful. I’m not sure I ever want to go on that intense of a hike again. Maybe if they found one that was actually easy. You-could-take-your-gramma easy, not super-fit-outdoorsman easy. But I’ll have to buy some running shoes.